Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
