fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
