Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The struggles of a small town man whore
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
