She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize