I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
