Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
