According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
