Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
