Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
