i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
