i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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