There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
