i permit you to call me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
