she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and she was petting her beer can
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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