I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
