Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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