doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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