White coat. Heels.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
