Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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