Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
