so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
