So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
