dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
