Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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