When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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