Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
