i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
