I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
