Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
