what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
