I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
