I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
