I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
