yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
