Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
