if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They took my balls.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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