I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
