They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
