I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
