Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He had one of those small greek statue penises
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
