Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
