that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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