my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
