quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
