It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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