dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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