the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
