i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
