i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
