I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
