cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
