if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
