I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
