His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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