Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she looked like the before picture.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
