I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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