It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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