I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
