It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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