So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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