They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
