Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
