My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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