I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
